These 6 Habits Are Wrecking Your Self-Value
Time to be really honest, when you look in the mirror how do you feel about yourself? Give it a rating 1-10, 10 is "I am in the best place I’ve ever been", and 1, is “I feel like garbage”. If you're assessing yourself with a low rating, there is a good chance you are doing at least one of these things and it is majorly wrecking your self-value.
First, what is self-value? Your self-value is at the root of your self-esteem. It's really hard to admit that your self-value may be low. It's a lot easier to identify when your self-esteem is low. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself but yourself value is the value that you place on yourself, skills, knowledge and contribution to the world. When your self-esteem is low it is often an indication that your self-value is low. I’ll be honest, self-value work takes a long time and isn’t a straight path. You will go through ups and downs, but you can make little changes along the way that will make a big difference. Consistency, and long-term vision is key to improving your self-value. Other symptoms of low self-value may include overextending yourself, having a hard time saying no, not having a clear understanding of what you want, finding difficulty sharing your passions with others, feeling invisible, having a hard time keeping money, binging on anything - tv, food, spending, etc. One or more of these may resonate with you, and this list is by no means complete but they are some of the things I have identified in myself as I have worked on myself value over the last few years.
The question is are you making your self-value worse?
Here are 6 major things that are wrecking yourself value:
Going back on your word/Not following through. Especially when it's what you’ve promised yourself. In those moments you are reinforcing to yourself that you can’t be counted on or trusted to honor your wants. Ever tell yourself “I'm getting up and going to the gym by 7am”, and then roll out of bed at 8:30 with no intention of working out? Yep - me too. That is wrecking yourself value! Time to start keeping your promises to yourself!
Letting that mean, lazy, destructive voice in your head run the show! Let’s call this your crutch voice - it holds you back and brings you down. Tell your crutch voice to shut it. This takes a lot of work, because she doesn't always sound the same, she has different ways to dig at you, get you to not follow through and tear yourself apart. Work on identifying that negative voice and stopping it as soon as it starts.
Keeping clothes and shoes that make you feel bleh. Our clothes have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves. When you get dressed up to go out on a date you make sure you feel amazing, and it shows! When you neglect how you feel physically and tolerate being uncomfortable in the short term it affects your long-term self-value. When someone really values their car, they get it washed and detailed regularly. They even cover it with a car blanket! They protect it and make sure it is always looking good. Make sure that you are treating yourself with the highest respect and allow yourself to feel amazing every day.
4. Only seeing unflattering images of yourself! If the images you see of yourself are unflattering, bad lighting, and make you cringe - it's time to hang a beautiful portrait of yourself where you will see it every day. As you repeatedly see an image of yourself that you don’t like, you are reinforcing the negative thoughts you have about yourself in that image. Then when you look in the mirror you think the thoughts you have about that image and it becomes your thought pattern about yourself. Change your negative self-talk pattern by hanging a portrait of yourself that you feel beautiful in and looking at it every single day.
5. Dismissing yourself. Ever get interrupted or cut off and say, “oh it's not important.” Although it may no longer be fitting to add to the conversation does not mean that you did not have something of value to add to the conversation. Instead say, “it's a thought for another time.”
6. Overextending yourself. When you over commit to projects and activities you are setting yourself up to not follow through, remember this from point number 1? You have now created the perfect scenario that diminishes your personal value. By being more realistic with your time and capacity - this is mentally and physically, you are able to establish consistency for your follow through! This also allows you to protect your personal time for yourself to rest, recover and have fun.
How many of these do you identify in your personal habits? Now that you know what they are its time to start identifying them as you see them happening in your daily life. That is the first step to correcting the patterns. Once you start seeing each one happening you can stop and implement change in your patterns. Establishing new habits takes time, be gracious with yourself, but be honest, we can only improve ourselves if we admit there is room to grow.
Stay steadfast in all your goals friend. You are worth it!
XOXO Bethany Lyn